Recently, the Gropinator again put his foot in his mouth — in a small way — with comments that Cubans and Puerto Ricans are naturally feisty and temperamental because of the “black blood” and “Latino blood” coursing through their veins. Next, we’ll put him in charge of some genetics project for these deep insights on the metaphysics of blood.

Yet it really is something of a small gaffe. It’s almost certainly taken out of context, for one thing. And as the alleged “target” of the comment — to the extent that there was any “target” — stated, people often describe themselves this way. Perhaps if the Gropinator had said something like “Austrians are inherently stupid and would always be lower-class citizens deserving of little respect because of the Austrian blood coursing through their veins,” then people (Austrians, at least) would have some right to be up in arms.

But that’s not what happened.

And that brings us to the point of “How Politicians Screw Us.”

Phil Angelides — for whom I suppose I’ll be forced to vote, simply because I can no longer stomach how the Gropinator is using us and want to see if someone else might do less damage — wants to highlight Schwarzeneggar’s words. Angelides apparently hopes we’re going to vote for him because our current governor sometimes says stupid things without thinking.

“Once again, Governor Schwarzenegger has used language that is deeply offensive to all Californians and embarrassed our state,” Angelides said in a statement.— ” Schwarzenegger: Cubans, Puerto Ricans ‘all very hot’” (September 8, 2006) CNN.com.

Sadly, as I said, I already pretty much feel stuck voting for Angelides because there’s no viable alternative to continue allowing Schwarzeneggar to terminate the few good things left about California. But this approach to campaigning by Angelides is inimical to the development of a non-dysfunctional democratic process. While politicians are busy talking about what horrible people their opponents are, we’re always going to be stuck in the position of having to vote for the lesser of two evils.

This, in fact, is exactly what people like Angelides are saying: “Vote for me because the other guy is a bad person who says mean things.”

Mr. Angelides. Mr. Angelides. What we really need — even if we don’t know it’s what we want — are politicians who will focus on themselves. I don’t want to vote for you because you’re someone who won’t talk about the “black blood” and the “Latino blood” or any other kind of bloods. I want someone I can vote for because they’ve got a message about themselves and what they will do for our state if elected.

Remember, Mr. Angelides, when you sling mud, everybody just gets muddy. Perhaps if you leave the little missteps alone and focus on the big picture instead, you’ll find people will stay focused on the good you can do, rather than the silly thing someone else — someone many of them like anyway — said.

We don’t need your encouragement to dislike the Gropinator. We do need to know why we should like you.

But reality is reality and Californians are determined to hold a recall because we believe it’s Davis’ fault that our government is running in the red. The costs of things like unanticipated recalls, of course, don’t factor into the budget at all. The millions spent on the election are surely to be found growing on a tree somewhere. Unanticipated rip-offs by Enron—now being sheltered by the closed-door hearings of which the Bush administration is so fond—are another story. For those, we hang the Governor.

I began to change my mind about Schwarzenegger when I realized that he wasn’t going to actually tell us anything—on the contrary, he refuses to debate anyone, even other members of his own party (McClintock tried to get him to debate just him and he refused).

The problem, as I see it, is that Ah-nuld thinks he can win—and, sadly, he may be right—just by refusing to say anything he hasn’t already said in one of his movies. He believes the voters don’t care about the issues. He thinks they won’t pay attention to the fact that his campaign is built on a platform of platitudes.

Consequently, he runs around refusing to debate and, instead, just keeps repeating, “Let’s terminate them. Let’s say, ‘Hasta la vista, baby,’ to those guys.” (CNN.com, Inside Politics, “Clinton stumps for Davis: Former president says California recall ‘not funny anymore,’” September 14, 2003.) He—and the rest of California—apparently believes this is all that’s necessary to solve our problems.

If all he’s going to do is spout tired lines from old movies and otherwise refuse to tell us what he plans to do besides “audit” (which, as I’ve pointed out previously, is already done; it’s a requirement of governments and corporations), then it’s time we, the people, asked for a more perfect government instead of a more perfect politico.

Isn’t failing in our duty as voters to know what it is we’re voting for just one of the things that has gotten us into this mess? We keep blaming the politicians for screwing up. Yet while they’re running for office, we demand nothing of them more than that they look good on T.V. and that they know how to handle a one-liner. If they manage to string together two one-liners, as Schwarzenegger does, that’s all the better.

Yet, although we may actually elect an entertainer, shouldn’t we realize that it isn’t an entertainer, but rather a governor, that we need? Wouldn’t it be better if we asked for something substantive from the candidates? And then, if they don’t deliver on their substantive promises once in office, we make sure they don’t get another chance to lie to us.

We get the government we deserve. We get nothing more. That’s what the “by the people” meant when Abraham Lincoln called ours a “government of the people, by the people, for the people.” (Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address speech.)

Lincoln also said, “Lets have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” (Abraham Lincoln, at Cooper Union, found [of all places] on FreeRepublic.com.)

We, the voters, have a duty to hold those we elect to serve us (yes, let’s not forget that they are “public servants”) to high standards. They should tell us what they’re going to do and leave the snappy one-liners to the actors and comedians.

Unless he can tell us why it should be different—unless he can tell us what he actually plans to do to change things—I say Ah-nuld’s bid for Governor should be annulled.

Why does he keep refusing debates, even with other Republicans? What is it he doesn’t want us to know? Or what is it he doesn’t know?

Until tonight, I thought there was a good chance I was voting for Ah-nuld Schwarzenegger. (Yes, my wife was horrified.)

Tonight, Ah-nuld is answering scripted questions (without a script, because they’re all memorized) at his “second town hall meeting.” Present in this relatively small audience, oddly enough, are all the leaders of education from the area of southern California from LA to San Diego, or so it seems. This coincidence is a little strange, nu? Kind of like pulling the hoods off 15 leaders of the Ku Klux Klan only to find that they’re all African-Americans.

And the questions: “Ah-nuld…” (yes, all politicians are now on a first-name basis with all citizens). “Ahhh-nuld…I’m the Director of…[insert important-sounding education department here]…and I can’t…[one or two second pause] help but appreciate all that you’ve done for us with your…[one or two second pause]…after…[pause]…uh, afterschoolprogram [all one word].”

So what’s the point of all that “[...]” and “pause” stuff?

It’s simple. I recognize someone reading a script when I hear it. Often, at my job as a Director of Information Systems, I get phone calls from people who say things like, “Yes, I’m looking for the person in charge of your computer purchases.” After my response of, “That would be me. I’m the Director of Information Systems,” the reply is (sometimes) “Yes. I received your card in the mail….” Now, waitaminute. Didn’t they just appear to be unsure who they were looking for? Are there actually cards that say, “person in charge of your computer purchases” instead of “Director of Information Systems” that you can send in by accident, without knowing you did it? I mean, she didn’t say, “I’m looking for the Directory of IS. Are you him?” (To which I could, of course, respond, “That all depends upon what the meaning of ‘IS’ is.”)

The speech occasionally varies, but the point is that I’ve gotten good at spotting “script readers.”

But tonight, in a group of people who appeared to be perhaps 1/100,000th the size of San Diego (or 1/1,000th the size of Poway, if that makes the math easier), the people who had the microphone (which is perhaps 1 out of every 50 people out of this small crowd there to see Ah-nuld), were a teacher, a principal, a superintendent of schools and one or two other educational folk. Two or three question-askers were not involved with schools, except that they had school-aged children. What are the odds of that? (Maaar-THA! Let’s go buy a lottery ticket!)

Here’s the deal: Avoid debates because your handlers are worried that you can’t speak extemporaneously. (Yes, Ah-nuld, that’s a real word.) Then, to counteract the complaints that you can’t speak extemporaneously, stage “town meetings” (having a section called “Old Town” doesn’t make a megalopolis a town—I’m sorry, San Diego) packed with (either) educational administrators or people who claim to be involved in education and make sure they memorize their lines. If only they could read them properly without terminating…each…phrase with…an un…nat…ural pause like…they were trying to remem…ber…their lines.

Yes, yes…the point: I know how to spot script readers. Ah-nuld’s audience…picks…are…readingscripts. (Yes, that’s all one word.)

And then, on top of that, he talked about how California is driving away businesses. (The story he told about it is the part that made me finally decide he lost my vote and caused me to get off the couch to write this.)

Here’s the story (somewhat paraphrased because I don’t have an eidetic memory; but substantially what he said):

I asked, “Why are we going to Canada to shoot Terminator III?” and they told me, “because it’s an $8 million difference.” So I sat down and I said, “I’m putting in $1.5 million.” And I turned to the Director and I said, “Now you put in $1.5 million.” And then I turned to all the department heads and I said, “I know you’re padding your budget. Shave something.” - Arnold Schwarzenegger on CSPAN I, September 12, 2003.

And, Ah-nuld said, “before it was all over, they made up more than the $8 million.” (Again, for those who may have seen the show and say, “He didn’t say that! He said, ‘Before it was finished, they shaved off $10 million!’ That proves you liberals lie!,” please remember that I said I was paraphrasing because I don’t have an eidetic memory. I challenge anyone to say that I have anything substantively incorrect about what I purport to quote here.) Then, if my ears heard right, he went on to point out that “where there’s a will there’s a way” and he had proved it and that’s why he should be Guv’ner Terminator!

Did I miss something?

So…California drove away these jobs…. Where was the movie filmed again?

Oh, wait. I remember, it was California’s fault because, after all, the poor department managers had to work with an inferior budget. Then why did Ah-nuld say, “I know [the department heads for the movie production] are padding the budget. Shave something.”? Why is it okay to have department heads for the movie studio padding a budget and when it happens, the real increases in costs are because California is trying to obtain enough in revenues to pay the bills?

And speaking of paying the bills, wasn’t it Ah-nuld who said, “For every dollar we send to the Federal government, we get back 77 cents. Where is the other 23 cents?” Wasn’t it Ah-nuld who pointed out that the problem with California is that we’re spending $4 billion a month on a war for which we’ve already been asked to contribute $100 bil…oops…waitaminute. I misspoke. I didn’t mean “California.” I meant, “The United States.” So is Ah-nuld saying that we need to stop spending money we don’t have? Will he stand up and tell you that going from a budget surplus under Bill Clinton the Sex Fiend to a half-trillion dollar deficit under King George IV (King George III is the one against whom Thomas Jefferson and the other Founding Fathers rebelled) is immoral?

Somehow, I don’t think so.

My wife complained throughout the speech that Ah-nuld wasn’t answering the questions. I disagreed with her—to a degree. The problem wasn’t so much that he didn’t answer the questions, although I agree he didn’t address them head-on. The problem was that he responded to each question with a feel-good speech that tangentially and inchoately appeared to touch on the questions. It wasn’t exactly like someone saying, “Would you like a slice of bull…er, steak?” and getting a response of “There’s nothing like a drive in the park in the middle of a monsoon.” It was more like, “Please, may I give you an opportunity to provide a scripted speech of politico-adspeak relating to what you think everyone wants to hear about education (or immigrants, since no one can accuse you of bigotry against immigrants since you are one [just not brown...and from Mexico...like the-ones-we-hate-but-can't-grow-or-harvest-crops-in-our-agriculture-based-state-without])?” And Ah-nuld’s practically-instantaneous responses, nearly cutting off the question-asker, which constituted the politico-adspeak.

Please ask me if I really believe that an unscripted Ah-nuld can speak on such varied topics as farming (where I agree with my wife: he dodged the question admirably) to education (where he said the same thing to every question posed by an “educator” [actor?]) to the budget (“We’re going to audit everything and open the books to everyone!”—Earth-to-Ah-nuld! Earth-to-Ah-nuld! This is the United States: Those books are ALREADY public record. They’re ALREADY audited. They’re ALREADY open to public inspection. This isn’t Austria.) to the need for the government to promise Detroit that there will be hydrogen-refueling stations every 20 miles in California.

And—tell me, please!—where did that last comment come from? Did we need to promise that California would put gasoline stations every 20 miles before Detroit would build regular gas-guzzling automobiles? Did we? Since when has California been in the business of building or otherwise guaranteeing automobile refueling stations (of any type) every 20 miles? We won’t reduce our oil consumption for one very basic reason: The President of the United States does not want us to, because the oil companies that own him don’t want us to, because there would be no need to invade other countries, or raise your gas prices 20 cents for unexplainable reasons in a one-to-three day period of time just before Labor Day driving. There would be no multi-million dollar deals for Halliburton (VP Cheney’s company) or Bechtel (Halliburton’s organizational wife). There would be no events to use as an excuse for curtailing civil rights in a manner not seen since the last King George. Rumsfeld would be living on skid row in San Francisco pining for the days of the Mitchell Brothers. Tom Ridge would be pondering a life as a K-Mart manager. Cheney would be complaining that his pay as a 7-Eleven clerk would not support his (sorely needed) gym fees. And George Bush would be sitting on a busy street corner in Central Texas with a sign that says, “Will Massrek Massacremo Massacramulate the English Langui Langua Ling For Food.”

Perhaps I’ll change my mind if Ah-nuld ever actually debates without scripted questions apparently known to him in advance (at least give us people who can deliver the lines better than Ah-nuld in his first, second and third movies!).

Ah-nuld himself summed up his methodology best when he said,

“This is my plan to reach out. It has been successful in the past. You know me well enough by now that I’m good in marketing. I’m good in promoting,” Schwarzenegger said. – Arnold Schwarzenegger, admitting that he’s trying to control how people see him, TheSanDiegoChannel.com, September 4, 2003.

For now, I can only say that to me, he’s no longer the Terminator; I think he needs to be aaaaaaaah-nulled.